A True Dame Deserves Respect


Have you seen this Pepsi commercial yet?


Two reasons I really love this video:

1. Hey It’s Pepsi! Just because I’m a farm girl doesn’t mean I only drink milk.

No really, on the farm we drink a lot of Pepsi, along with milk. Ask the goats. If you saw my post last summer about feeding the baby goats with Pepsi bottles you’ll understand. 

2. Respect – Something we dames don’t get enough of and often don’t demand.

I feel as if I’ve discovered this video at just the right time. I know, call me a loser, I don’t watch regular television enough to have caught this in the commercial zone.  I’ve had this post on my heart for a while now, and haven’t been able to decided on the best way to share it and offend the least of you.

But I’m told we can’t make everyone happy, and sometimes we need to respect the person even if we may not like what they do or what they believe.

As the beautiful dames that you all are, there comes a time when as a woman you must demand a little respect for yourself.

We’ve all heard the rants. We all of that one or few family members that cause upset and hurt feelings. They think they are better. They deserve more. Their roles in your life give them the right to behave as they do.

It’s no excuse.

Many plead ignorant.

No matter who it is, what their excuse, it doesn’t fly with this farm girl. No one has the right to disrespect you or your role in your family. I’d like to tell you  that when a person treats you unkindly one moment and then tries to be your best friend the next that it is acceptable.

It’s not.

And there is something you can do about it.

Last week, a dear friend and beloved relative of mine told me this, “When you love someone you respect their wishes.”


I hadn’t thought of that word much. Yet, now that I think of it… the word respect and love seem to go together, don’t you think?

While we might no always agree with the way someone else does things or believe in, we can still respect that person because they are a person.

Fifteen years ago, I took an unsteady step into marriage. Everything I grew up knowing about relationships wasn’t the same as my spouse. We came from two different places in the world. I grew up in the country, in a small town where we had conservative family values and a real sense of community.  There were unspoken boundaries of what was acceptable and what wasn’t.  My husband grew up in the city (okay very large town), his world view was not the same as mine. His family values were not as conservative, nor did he understand the boundaries of relationships that I did.

It’s a problem I feel many couples are facing today. Not all of us get to marry our high school sweethearts and most of us always have to deal with the people in our lives that would belittle us because our ways are not their ways.

So that’s why in marriage we leave our families and create our own. Our own values, often based on the foundation of values that we bring with us. We learn to respect each other’s values and adopt and configure our own to match our family.

And that’s where we struggle. We struggle because when we step out of our inner circles we have to find the balance of our own, especially when children come into the picture. Many times the families that have now become our extended families don’t understand, don’t want to accept change, and don’t RESPECT the choices and changes that we make to create or continue a legacy for our families.

As Dames, it’s our right as women, wives, and mothers to set the expectation of treatment for our daughters, but also be a shining example for our friends and our daughters’ friends. And for our sons to how a true Dame deserves respect.

Don’t be afraid to set person boundaries for yourself. If you don’t allow your children to talk to you that way, then set the standard for others as well. If someone walks into your home and belittles you, politely offer for them to have a graceful exit but hold fast to your beliefs and values.

There are three ways I’ve learned this past year to deal with those that are disrespectful towards you:

1. Set those personal boundaries for yourself. Write them down if you have to.

2. Reinforce those boundaries for you and your children. When someone is disrespecting you, tell them. “If you don’t like the way I (name it) in my home, then uou’re welcome to leave at any time.” or “I’m sorry we don’t share the same beliefs, but while we respect your beliefs we expect you to do the same in return.”

3. Minimize the interaction. There is nothing wrong with avoiding those in your life that cause distress to you, your children, or your relationships.

Respect, it’s the admiration others have of you for qualities, achievements, and abilities.

The dairy dame definition of respect: loving who you are and who other people are enough to avoid belittling and criticizing others for their differences of values, abilities, and accomplishments.

Go on, watch the video again.

Pepsi for you!